C. S. Lewis and Friendship
This year, I made the decision to take a class titled The Writings of C. S. Lewis. In this class, we chose a topic that Lewis mentions frequently in his writings and wrote an eight-page paper on the subject. I ended up choosing two of the four loves that Lewis explains in his book The Four Loves. I chose Philia–the love of your friends and those who believe the same questions on a topic are important, and Storge–the love of family, or in other words, "brotherly love." I got a 95 on the paper, so I guess I did pretty swell:).
Remember that I mentioned C. S. Lewis class, it'll make a reappearance later on;)
With this school year coming to a close-OMG I'm a senior-I felt as though it was only necessary for me to reflect on some things I learned this year. Firstly, I learned that change is okay. I don't know if I have brought this up before, but at the beginning of this school year, I tried to reinvent myself. I had quit the school's musical, and that was a weird way to enter the school year. Ever since fifth grade, I had decided to title myself your stereotypical theatre kid. I wore the Broadway t-shirts, only listened to musicals, and did community theatre. Going into high school, I was so ready to be a member of the theatre program. But, it proved to not be for me. With grueling rehearsal schedules, and the competitiveness of it all, I realized that theatre just wasn't for me. I don't like to feel as though every single minute of my day I'm being compared to others. At least not during an activity that I willingly chose to be apart of. So, I quit; and in doing this, it felt as though everything changed.
I had the chance to change, and I took it. It has been a rough lesson to learn, but I have discovered that I am not just a theatre kid; there is more to my identity than the stage. It is not a bad thing to love musicals, I still do. I just took the signs that it wasn't for me anymore, and rolled with it.
Secondly, I learned that grades are not everything, doing your absolute best is. Sophomore year, a friend told me something I will never forget: I am just not wired for school. This doesn't mean that I am dumb. It just means that I do not have the natural instinct of memorization, I have to work hard to learn. When I have to study, I have to be mentally prepared for the workload ahead of me, because I cannot use a quizlet once and know all the material. And you know what, that is totally okay. Everyone is smart in their own, unique ways. I like to believe I am pretty smart with people. I like to understand why people do what they do, think how they think, and believe what they believe. I work to be the best friend I can to others, and that doesn't seem stupid to me.
This has been the year of college. College meetings are happening seemingly everyday and that is really stressful. It always feels like the meetings are just a reminder that my GPA isn't high enough. I'm comfortable where I am, and I'm proud of how hard I have worked to reach it. I am okay with not being the top ranked student, because I know that if I was, I wouldn't be the social butterfly that I love to be. It's okay to be an average student, that doesn't mean you are an average person.
Lastly, I learned the definition of a true friend. These friends are hard to come by, and often when we are presented with one we miss the chance to truly grasp the specialness of that friendship. Personally, I do not like to define my friends, I can have MULTIPLE best friends. That is normal and okay. However, when I feel a tug on my heart to decipher the differences between best friends and true friends, I ask myself some very simple questions:
1. Do they answer your calls?
This doesn't necessarily mean they pick up every time, but they make an effort to acknowledge the fact you called. This could be a text, snapchat, or just calling you back in the next few minutes.
2. Do they always lift your mood?
We all get annoyed with the people in our lives, but the true friends assess your mood and, somehow, still have the ability to make you smile. Even when you are annoyed with them, they still have the power to lift your spirits.
3. Do they listen to the same problem over and over?
There is always something that sets people off, and sometimes, the only way to move on is to talk about it excessively. A good cry or long rant is the best healing a person can have, and true friends will listen to you go off. Even if it's the third time this class period that you have subtly whispered that you hate this class.
4. Do they make you feel wanted?
A simple "I do want to call you tonight" or "Call me when you can" has the possibility to make someone's whole week. When someone makes a person feel like they are wanted, that can ultimately change the whole way someone views themselves. True friends make sure you know you are special to them.
5. Do they make you love yourself?
Self love is hard, but if you have support it all falls into place. The friends that are true will do everything they can to make sure you have even just a smidge of self love. It could be in the littlest of ways but they still work to make sure the way you think about yourself has some good to it.
So, she is going to hate me for this because I am sentimental and emotional while she isn't always ready for it. But these points made me think of a girl who made my junior year the best year ever. Christina was my favorite part of C. S. Lewis class and is the reason I stayed in it at the end of first semester. She has shown me all the little things, and if you asked me the questions above about her, I would say yes to every single one. To our nightly facetime calls and being each other's constant distractions during reading in class, Christina has been a true friend to me.
She graduated last Friday, and now I'm really sad. By the beginning of next school year, Christina will be 427 miles away. That's a car ride of over six hours. Things are going to be different, and we will be focused on two very different things. She will be in college, and I'll be a senior in high school. Our brains will be overwhelmed with the craziness of it all, and honestly, we won't have the ability to have our nightly chats anymore. It won't be as easy to talk because our schedules will be so different. But, I can still have Christina with me in the impact she has had on my life. She has taught me so many lessons this year and they are now pieces of who I am. I have become closer to discovering who I am, and Christina has been a huge part of that. Thanks to these factors, I know that our friendship will survive the 427 miles between it.
Originally, I would have defined our friendship as Storge. We both took the class on our own and, out of sheer luck, became friends inside the classroom. That friendship then blossomed into Philia, because we both discovered that we did share interests away from Lewis. However, now I choose to define it as neither Philia or Storge, but as TRUE.
So, I guess I should end this by saying a quick thank you to the man himself, C. S. Lewis. Thank you for allowing me to meet Christina, she is pretty cool. And even though I don't really understand all the books you wrote-like Perelandra-I do understand that friendship is important. Love is important, you talked about it quite a bit. But so do I! Once again, thank you for being a guiding light this school year, you were a pretty cool dude.
Remember that I mentioned C. S. Lewis class, it'll make a reappearance later on;)
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| Photo booth in C. S. Lewis was always the best part;) |
I had the chance to change, and I took it. It has been a rough lesson to learn, but I have discovered that I am not just a theatre kid; there is more to my identity than the stage. It is not a bad thing to love musicals, I still do. I just took the signs that it wasn't for me anymore, and rolled with it.
Secondly, I learned that grades are not everything, doing your absolute best is. Sophomore year, a friend told me something I will never forget: I am just not wired for school. This doesn't mean that I am dumb. It just means that I do not have the natural instinct of memorization, I have to work hard to learn. When I have to study, I have to be mentally prepared for the workload ahead of me, because I cannot use a quizlet once and know all the material. And you know what, that is totally okay. Everyone is smart in their own, unique ways. I like to believe I am pretty smart with people. I like to understand why people do what they do, think how they think, and believe what they believe. I work to be the best friend I can to others, and that doesn't seem stupid to me.
This has been the year of college. College meetings are happening seemingly everyday and that is really stressful. It always feels like the meetings are just a reminder that my GPA isn't high enough. I'm comfortable where I am, and I'm proud of how hard I have worked to reach it. I am okay with not being the top ranked student, because I know that if I was, I wouldn't be the social butterfly that I love to be. It's okay to be an average student, that doesn't mean you are an average person.
Lastly, I learned the definition of a true friend. These friends are hard to come by, and often when we are presented with one we miss the chance to truly grasp the specialness of that friendship. Personally, I do not like to define my friends, I can have MULTIPLE best friends. That is normal and okay. However, when I feel a tug on my heart to decipher the differences between best friends and true friends, I ask myself some very simple questions:
1. Do they answer your calls?
This doesn't necessarily mean they pick up every time, but they make an effort to acknowledge the fact you called. This could be a text, snapchat, or just calling you back in the next few minutes.
2. Do they always lift your mood?
We all get annoyed with the people in our lives, but the true friends assess your mood and, somehow, still have the ability to make you smile. Even when you are annoyed with them, they still have the power to lift your spirits.
3. Do they listen to the same problem over and over?
There is always something that sets people off, and sometimes, the only way to move on is to talk about it excessively. A good cry or long rant is the best healing a person can have, and true friends will listen to you go off. Even if it's the third time this class period that you have subtly whispered that you hate this class.
4. Do they make you feel wanted?
A simple "I do want to call you tonight" or "Call me when you can" has the possibility to make someone's whole week. When someone makes a person feel like they are wanted, that can ultimately change the whole way someone views themselves. True friends make sure you know you are special to them.
5. Do they make you love yourself?
Self love is hard, but if you have support it all falls into place. The friends that are true will do everything they can to make sure you have even just a smidge of self love. It could be in the littlest of ways but they still work to make sure the way you think about yourself has some good to it.
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| My absolute favorite human being! |
She graduated last Friday, and now I'm really sad. By the beginning of next school year, Christina will be 427 miles away. That's a car ride of over six hours. Things are going to be different, and we will be focused on two very different things. She will be in college, and I'll be a senior in high school. Our brains will be overwhelmed with the craziness of it all, and honestly, we won't have the ability to have our nightly chats anymore. It won't be as easy to talk because our schedules will be so different. But, I can still have Christina with me in the impact she has had on my life. She has taught me so many lessons this year and they are now pieces of who I am. I have become closer to discovering who I am, and Christina has been a huge part of that. Thanks to these factors, I know that our friendship will survive the 427 miles between it.
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| Look at this BEAUTIFUL graduate! |
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| Randomly ending up in the bathroom at the same time!! |
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| Have fun in college! |
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